Kindness is Not a Dirty Word
I would love to be perfect.
Two years ago I was driving to work. I was in a happy mood, because for the past 4 years I've pretty much loved my daily routine. Then something happened that ruined my day. It was a long time ago, but I think after that drive everything pretty much stunk. From sitting down at my desk to turning the light out before my head hit the pillow. This story has a happy ending, so read on faithful reader.
So there I am. Driving. Whistling. Having a grand ol' time. The car in front of me had a few very large bumper stickers pasted on its trunk. It was easy to see the "Have you been Saved"? and "Repent" slogans. Don't worry kind reader; this is not a requiem on religious fanaticism. Any God or gods that you believe in are cool with LocalPickle. The bumper stickers just happen to be my only descriptive remembrance of the vehicle. Honest.
As I watched the "Saved" car run a red-light, my first thought was to make a mental note: Take CPR/First Aid class. If this person were to be in a serious accident, my only contribution would have been directing traffic. I'm really bad at that.
After the light changed, I happened upon the same car It was stopped at a green light. I stopped too. No hurry, no worries for pickle boy. Seeing cars approach in my rearview mirror, I decided to give the driver of the "Repent" car a light tap on the horn. This is when I saw her face. She looked in her mirror and I saw the cold hard look of a woman's face that said, "Who do you think you are telling ME what to do? I eat steel and drink lava for kicks!!". I trembled. She was that scary.
Alas, she finally proceeded towards the next light. We approached the entrance to a small convenience store and without electric turn signal, hand gesture, or even a hint of slowing down she turned into the store's parking lot. Tires screeched. Brakes locked. Cars honked. I shivered (not proud of that).
Thinking she may be having some sort of physical problem, I rolled past her....slowly....doing a pretty good job of sly rubbernecking. I could always direct traffic until the ambulance arrives. What happened next may very well be one of the top 3 surprises of my wonderful life. She exited the holy car and verbally assaulted me. Since LocalPickle is a family site, let's just say that she sounded alot like Joe Pesci in GoodFellas. Or think of that one Uncle that everyone has. You know, the one that makes you cringe whenever he gets drunk at the family picnic. This was her. She capped it off with a hand gesture. You know that one too.
Ok, I promised a happy ending. Here it is. Take it or leave it.
Driving to work this past week I saw a new car with even bigger bumper stickers and even longer slogans. Could it be? Is this possible? I pulled alongside the shiny car and peered over at the drivers seat. It was her. Unmistakable. She smiled and mumbled something to herself that looked like, "I love myself". It was pretty surreal.
With all the excitement I almost missed my exit. In my haste I accidentally cut off the driver of a huge 4 wheel drive truck. He wasn't happy. The truck followed me off the highway and down the long exit ramp to the red light where I stopped. The only problem was that the light was green. The truck screeched. Horns blared. People stared. I did my best impression of the Saved Lady, gestures and all.
I'm glad I'm not perfect.